Ruts

I read a post yesterday on Be A Good Mom about just being overwhelmed as a parent and housewife. She ponders if she should only blog about the happy times, or be real and honest, and then talks about daily life struggles that we all deal with. Here is part of my reply:
Ive worked since I was 14 and always enjoyed working. So when I landed in a kind of stay at home mom position with my partner and kids, it was strange. I found myself really loving it, to my surprise. But then id find myself snapping at the kids (5 and 7) for making a mess the minute they got home when I spent all day cleaning. Or begging my partner to go somewhere together when she got home,, even grocery shopping,, just to get out of the house. But she worked all day teaching high schoolers and just wants to relax.
Now i’ve doubled the duty. Im working again, as a live-in nanny for 5 kids. Kids are my passion and I love the job, but im constantly exhausted and at my wits end more than id like to admit. I have girls that are 3 and 4 that require much more assistance than im used to. Yes, they can play by themselves, but they still need me to help them do so many things and are either questioning or complaining most of the time (I am thankful there are two of them, at least.) Ive got a 7 year old boy with behavioral issues that is home half day, and he wants my undivided constant attention. Since hes missing school half the day I have to fight with him to do extra schoolwork at home to keep him on track. Then after school the other two 6 year old boys get here, and then its just pandemonium.
Its a struggle to find balance and solace for sure. I thought joining the gym would be a great escape…. but im too exhausted to enjoy it. But there are great times where I find bribes or rewards that work so perfectly either at work or home, and it makes the next week or so run smoothly till I lose it again and go zombie for a while, and then another solution to something comes up.
And, when all else fails, they get pizza and a movie for dinner and I get a bottle of wine!

There are some days at work where I do feel like im going to lose it a bit. But I get through it and the next day comes and goes, and I make it home on the weekends and remind myself that the kids are acting crazy there because they miss me all week, theyre not just misbehaving. And We work through it all.