Catching up today on Be A Good Mom after not having read it for a while, and found her breakdown of "Mothering Levels". I like it :-)
Level 1 Mothering: I take care of all your personal, emotional, hygiene, safety and nutrition needs.
Level 2 Mothering: You are responsible for dressing yourself, keeping yourself reasonably safe with moderate supervision, performing basic chores and generally maintaining your own body.
Level 3 Mothering: I am watching you. Show me that you have learned something in Levels 1 and 2. Lets work together to get you to Level 4, where you can really stretch out. You may go places without me. Heck, I may even go places without you once in a while.
Level 4 Mothering: I supply transportation, emotional support and the opportunity to earn money. You may use the sharp knives. I will no longer pay your library fines. I will no longer buy you fruit flavored toothpaste.
Level 5 Mothering: Check in 2x a day. I will still drive you to the dentist and such. I will no longer pay for birthday presents for your friends.
Level 6 Mothering: Why are you still getting mail here?